Acting from a Place of Availability

First delivered as a webinar “On Acting” – for Theatre Alive on 27th January 2022.

I want to start by telling you a quick story that a beloved teacher of mine told us when he was here in Bangalore many years ago, conducting a workshop for actors. I am going to tell it to you, hopefully without losing the essence of what he said. Apparently, when an actor who has some theatre experience goes onto a film set, he gets criticised, that his performance is “too stagy or theatrical”, and when an actor with film experience gets into a rehearsal room for a stage performance, he gets told off that his performance is “too filmy”. At this point he went on to say that in both cases people were saying the same thing. That it was just bad acting.

I like this story for many reasons of course. But the one I want to bring to your attention is that there are many genres, and systems, methods of acting and each of these systems, processes, methods, practices emerge at a particular moment in history, responding to what is happening in the world at that point. Over time they become codified into pedagogy and are taught as different acting schools.

Today I am going to respond to the topic for this webinar with an intention to find a connection or a thread that runs through genres or schools of acting.

The way I am going to do that is by introducing you to three concepts.

1. Availability
2. Vulnerability
3. Autonomy

Let’s begin with the first idea. For this I am going to need your participation. Exercise: Take a moment to feel your feet on the ground. Place a hand on your heart and your belly. Release a small breath by parting your lips. See if you can release a little sound as you breathe out. Now simply observe your body. Is there ease, comfort or softness anywhere in your body that you can feel?

Now I am going to make three statements. Continue to keep your hands over your heart and your belly.

1. The Indian Republic came into being as a result of a political debate on the question of citizenship. Those who believed that citizenship should be based on religion went on to form a new nation. Those who believed that citizenship should not be based on religion stayed on to build a nation on the ideas of inclusion and pluralism.

Notice if there was any change in your body. Is there discomfort or tightness anywhere in the body, has your breathing shifted, is there any comfort or softness anywhere in your body.

2. I tested positive yesterday. I am running a fever at this moment as I speak with you across this screen.

Notice if there was any change in your body. Is there discomfort or tightness anywhere in the body, has your breathing shifted, is there any comfort or softness anywhere in your body.

3. There is warm kashayam in my big blue mug that is soothing my throat and I can see my fluffy cat fast asleep on her pillow and I hear her soft snoring.

Notice if there was any change in your body. Is there discomfort or tightness anywhere in the body, has your breathing shifted, is there any comfort or softness anywhere in your body.

I don’t know exactly what you have experienced in the last five minutes. But I am pretty sure that there was some change in your body. Now here is the thing. We as humans are constantly responding to the external and internal changes. Our responses come from two places. A place of comfort and a place of discomfort. When we respond from a place of comfort there is an opening in the body, by way of release in musculature and breathing. When we respond from a place of discomfort there is a tightening in our muscles and breathing. They are both valid responses. There is also a possible third option. Let’s call it a place of ‘MAYBE’. There will still be a release or holding of the body and breathing. This is how the human body responds. Now what does this have to do with acting?

Acting, like writing, or painting or any other artistic practice, is an investigation of truth. We’ve heard this several times. I have had so many students tell me that what they are doing does not ‘feel truthful’. Now here’s the thing. Where does this ‘truth’ live for an actor? In acting this investigation of truth is in the moment as is experienced in the body of the actor. When we tune in to the body’s response we are connecting to our truth. This is a place of authenticity. The actor’s truth. When we respond from this place of connection to body and breathing, what we say, or express ‘feels’ truthful and believable.

When I speak of acting from a place of availability – this is what I mean. This tuning into your body’s response. Listening to your own body’s response to external and internal impulses is being available to it. Before your brain tries to figure out what is correct or not. Acting is an experiencing of what is true in your body in the moment and not a process of figuring out what is correct or what something ought to be. Just like you cannot figure out your parents or siblings, you cannot figure out the character you are playing. There is only experiencing the moment of your character’s external and internal reality via your body’s response to those external and internal realities in the moment. This is what I am referring to when I say ‘acting from a place of availability’.

Whether you are working with the tools of psychological realism, or exploring Meisner’s exercise of repetition with variation. Being available to your body’s response is key to ‘truthful’ acting, irrespective of genre.

You may argue what if no one else in the room agrees with my truth. Or what if I don’t agree with what the character stands for? These are valid arguments. Let me address them by moving into the next idea that I have proposed. I will return to these arguments at the end of the next segment to see if there is a resolution.

Moving on to the second idea – Vulnerability. The dictionary meaning of the word is – the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.

In acting, we actively cultivate this state of being. It is counter intuitive to how we respond in life. But as actors this is the state we want to invite into our body. This openness or exposure. We make visible our vulnerability. When we tune into the body’s response to an impulse, our truth is revealed to us first. In this moment very often, our own judgement kicks in. We begin what is called self-censorship. What, is that what I really feel? Am I such an awful person, what will others think of me, is this politically correct to even think? And so on, and on… While self-censorship may have some usefulness in life, it often hinders the actor. It obstructs her from exploring the moment with authenticity.

In allowing yourself to be with your physical response to your own external and internal reality when you encounter a character, you are making visible yourself and your character’s vulnerabilities. This is the moment of human empathy. The moment of transferring a direct experience felt in your body into the body of an audience who experiences it as sensations in the body – empathy for the character is physically felt on both sides – by the actor and the audience.

Let’s return briefly to the arguments that we put aside earlier. What if no one else in the room agrees with my truth. Or what if I don’t agree with what the character stands for? These are all part of self-censorship. Makes sense?

Now this is important: This is one of the hardest parts about actor training. All our life we train to hide our vulnerabilities. All our life we are conditioned to shield against being exposed to hurt, physical and emotional. And when you come to train as an actor you are expected to suddenly be ‘vulnerable’. Each system of training has its own unique way of bringing the actor to this state of openness or vulnerability.

It is important to talk about this because the process of bringing an actor to this state of vulnerability during training can often be abusive, unsafe and/or traumatic. It doesn’t have to be. As actors we willingly bring our vulnerable self to the room. There is every chance of being bullied, humiliated or abused. Work spaces and institutions of training may or may not have built-in health checks to prevent this from happening. Sometimes work spaces are democratic and healthy while others may be autocratic and downright unhealthy.

It is crucial for an actor to develop her own process of gauging the space and people she works with. One way is to check in with yourself. Your body is giving you information all the time. By signalling what feels comfortable and what feels uncomfortable. Listen to it. It is on your side. It may not always be possible to have a desirable outcome. You can choose not to work with an individual or in a setting that abusive. I have had to make those choices several times. Sometimes you may be able to convert the room to get an outcome that you desire. This too has happened with me. Whatever the outcome it is a risk worth taking. For your own well-being as well as for others in the room. This is a choice you have. At all times. Trust it.

This brings me to the third idea – Autonomy. This simply means to have the power of choice. The key thing to remember is that no one gives you this power. You already have it. Whether you chose to exercise that power or not. It is yours. You may be wondering what does all this have to do with acting?

Choice is available to an actor at each of the stages we have discussed. How you calibrate your way into availability, or are with your own vulnerability is up to you. How far and how deep you want to go, how much of yourself you want to be seen at any given moment is up to you. No amount to ‘pushing’ from you co-actors, directors, teachers or mentors need to bring you to a place of readiness. Only you can give yourself the permission to do so. Knowing this and exercising this power of choice is your autonomy. Your well-being as an artist depends on it!

I heard something quite beautiful from a fellow teacher recently. She said that her work is entirely dependent on her well-being. Now take a moment to digest this. As actors or even as people dealing with the business of navigating life, we believe that our work will lead us to our well-being. Meaning when we work, there will be recognition, or success or affluence or whatever. But by reversing the paradigm – that only if I am in well-being can I possibly be creative is a powerful shift in thinking.

I teach voice and performance all over the country and overseas. In the last five to ten years I have become increasingly interested in the autonomic nervous system especially because of my work with Fitzmaurice Voicework® and my own curiosity for the human voice and breath. Study shows that we are our most creative, imaginative and intuitive self when we have the power to say ‘no’. This is also a clear indicator that you are in a safe place where you feel brave enough to say no. It is imperative for actors to remember what it feels like to be able to exercise the power to say no – to be in their autonomy.

Before I close I want to say that all that I have shared today are ideas I hold dear, Try to bring to my teaching and practice, what I have learned from wonderful teachers, discoveries I have made along the way and from experiencing life as an actor sometimes the hard way. My hope is that you will find value in it and make it part of your practice and journey.

You know, one of my acting teachers makes the most exquisite furniture from wood. Acting is a bit like that. One tends to think of what you can make from a piece of wood, what can be carved from it, how can it be shaped into an object. These are all outcome driven and there is degree of violence to this outcome driven way of thinking. But if you simply remove what is not needed, that which is already imbedded in it will reveal itself to you. Your job is simply to reveal what is already there. As a practitioner if you are able to cultivate availability, vulnerability and autonomy your practice will leads you to discoveries that reveal human nature in all its complexities. Acting as an artisanal craft, just like carpentry. A continuous practice and refinement of craft for discovery.